The Meaning of Self Study

As soon we begin to question ourselves about our own identity and nature, either as a result of shocks in life or under the influence of exceptional moments, the question arises as to whether, instead of giving ourselves up more or less completely to events and thus to a course of evolution which we cannot control at all, there might not be in that evolution something which depends on us and could be influenced by us.

Thus it becomes obvious that the wish to be fully oneself will not leave a person completely unaffected, and the first necessity, which is as urgent as the organic need to eat, should be to find out if something in this direction is effectively possible for us, and in what way.

We can look outside us for the answer in books, philosophical systems and doctrines, in what the religions say, and, for a while, these answers may satisfy us. They satisfy us so long as life has not seriously brought us to question their effectiveness. Put to the test in life, the most solid religious faith in revealed truth is finally shaken, if it is not supported and confirmed in lived experiences. And, furthermore, we are so made that we rely indelibly and unshakably on what we have lived and verified for ourselves, in ourselves, by ourselves.

If we question ourselves deeply about ourselves and our possible evolution, we see it is within ourselves and through ourselves that we shall ultimately have to find the answer. And if we ponder what is the meaning of this world around us, it is again only in ourselves and through ourselves that an answer can come that we recognize to be our own, and in which we can have faith. In addition, self-knowledge has from the beginning of time been fundamental in many doctrines and many schools. Not an exterior analytical knowledge, such as modern western science has been pursuing for so long, avoiding as the inner questions or trying to reduce them to purely materialist explanations, but rather an inner self-knowledge wherein, to avoid distortion, each element, each structure, each function, as well as their relationships and the laws which govern them, are not looked at only from the outside, but must be experienced in the whole context to which they belong and can only be truly known “at work” in that totality. This is a completely different attitude from that which modern science has accustomed us to, and the one does not exclude the other. But, for our possibility of inner evolution, one thing must be clear. What is required is not intellectual knowledge, which, properly speaking, is mere information. Such information may be necessary, but is absolutely inadequate in our search. For this search, the self-knowledge we need is above all an inner experience, consciously lived, of what we are, including the whole range of impressions of oneself which one receives.

A person cannot attain knowledge of this order except at the price of long work and patient efforts. Self-knowledge is inseparable from the Great Knowledge, objective Knowledge. It goes by stages, the first of which may appear simple to start with; however, even for one who recognizes the need of it, it soon comes to seem an immense undertaking with an almost unreachable goal. Little by little an unsuspected complexity is revealed.

It gradually becomes clear that the study of the human being has no meaning unless it is placed in the context of life as a whole and of the whole world in which we live. This study is inseparable from a living study of the cosmos. Thus, obstacles never cease to arise, and this search, which at first may appear straightforward, opens up finally onto horizons of which we could hardly have had the slightest idea when we began.

To have any chance of reaching our aim without going astray or getting lost, we need a guide for the study of ourselves here as elsewhere, we must learn from those who know, and accept to be guided by those who have already trodden the same path. Real self-knowledge requires a school. It cannot be found in books, which can give only theoretical data, mere information, leaving the whole of the real work still to be done, transforming the information into understanding, and then the understanding into self-knowledge.
In the beginning, the only thing that can be asked of a person who engages in this search is that he or she should understand the necessity of making their way tirelessly along the path whatever happens, and that they should understand that nothing but self-study, rightly conducted, can lead one to self-knowledge and the great Knowledge.

Right Observation of One’s Self

THE first step in a study intended to lead to self-knowledge is self-observation. However, this has to be practiced in a way that corresponds to the aim. Thus, the ordinary kind of self-observation which people practice all their lives is almost entirely useless, and, in fact, brings nothing valid for the self-knowledge we need, a knowledge experienced and lived through. This is of primary interest for Leeds Fourth Way UK group.

There are actually two methods of self-observation: analysis, and a simple recording of impressions.
Self-analysis or introspection is the usual method applied in modern psychology, though at the present time there is a movement away from it. In this method each observed fact is taken by itself and serves as the basis for intellectual analysis, in the form of questions about its causes, connections and implications. What caused this, why did it happen? Why did it happen this way and not some other way? The observed fact is taken as the centre of gravity of the inquiry, and the other factors are grouped in relation to it and not in relation to the whole person. The person as a whole, although not completely disregarded, is relegated to second place. But the analysis of an isolated phenomenon, taken apart from its context and apart from general laws, makes absolutely no sense and is simply a waste of time.

Furthermore, a person who observes themselves in this way begins to look for answers to what he or she sees, then becomes interested in the answers and their consequences and soon loses sight of the original intention which was to observe, not to make interpretations for which one does not yet have the necessary material. Thus an entire intellectual process develops around the observation, which becomes of secondary importance and is even forgotten. A person who analyzes like this not only makes no progress toward self-knowledge, but even inflates ideas or fantasies about themselves which in some cases become the worst obstacles to attaining this knowledge; and so goes away from what one was searching for.

Another very bad effect of this analytical method is that it makes for arbitrary divisions of the functions of the human being who studies themselves in this way; whichever function is predominant (almost always the intellectual) stands apart from all the other functions and looks at them in its own way, and often evaluates or judges all of them as though it understood them. Such an attitude can but increase the predominance of one function over the others and does nothing to redress the balance between them. The inner dissociation and conflict inherent in everyone is thus immediately reinforced.

The analytic method may be useful very much later, perhaps to deepen the knowledge of a particular point when a sufficient sense of the whole to which it belongs has been acquired, and this without losing sight of that whole. But to arrive at self-knowledge and allow a harmonious evolution to take place, self-observation should not, to begin with, under any pretext be an analysis or an attempt to analyze.

In the beginning, only the method of recording impressions can lead to the aim we have in view. No observation has any real value for self-knowledge unless it is looked at in relation to the whole structure of the observer, and unless connected with all those elements and laws by which this structure is formed, not only as it is now, but as it is intended to become, that is, in the movement and the life of the whole. While these “constatations” are going on, the whole must never be lost sight of for a moment; it is all that counts and it must remain the centre of gravity.

For this reason, all results or former experiences of self-observation must be laid aside. It is not that they have to be systematically rejected, for we cannot live without them, and, incidentally, there may be very valuable elements in them. But all this material has been brought together by ideas about oneself, and about various divisions of oneself, which are incomplete or erroneous, so that in its present form it is of no use for the work we are undertaking; whatever may be valid in this material will become available again at the proper time and will be put in its proper place.

Right self-observation directed toward self-knowledge is possible only if precise conditions are first prepared so that it can begin without being destructive, certain pieces of information have first to be provided as a sort of baggage inevitably intellectual at this stage. The Fourth Way UK group recommends that the first work for anyone who really wishes to observe themselves is to verify this information in their own experience as soon as possible, and not to accept anything as true which has not been authenticated in this way by themselves.

The necessary pieces of information concern the structure itself of the human being, its way of functioning, and its most immediate possible transformations. They must be presented in a form complete enough to serve as the framework and scaffolding for what will later become real self-knowledge.

While this work of verifying the information is going on, self-study has to begin at the beginning, that is, one starts to observe oneself by simply recording impressions without judging or changing anything, as if one did not know oneself at all and had never observed oneself before, trying only to see to which centre or group of centres the observed phenomena belong, with which functions they are connected, and with what level of those functions.

As soon as the first steps are taken, one finds that there are considerable obstacles and that there is no hope of eventually overcoming them if they are not first seen just as they are. It is also obvious that energy, time and special conditions are indispensable for such work. How shall we find the energy unless we first look to see what forces we can count on in ourselves and around ourselves, and then consider how to find the time and the necessary conditions?

There is practically no chance for one person alone to resolve so many and such various difficulties no matter how good their original intentions.
We very quickly need two kinds of help. On the one hand, we need the inner help that self-observation itself can bring. Besides what it enables us to see about the way we are made, it soon shows us that one part of the whole is functioning wrongly and is taking up all the room for itself. This view of the situation, for a person who is seeking to be fully themselves, arouses a wish for certain changes and for transformation. This vision and the wish it awakens are the prime force on which all further work depends. But this inner help, this ally in oneself, cannot be enough. Contrary to what one usually believes, one person alone cannot know what needs to be changed nor how to change it. One needs, as soon as possible, help from the outside, and to find a school where the conditions, of which one knows nothing, actually exist for allowing this transformation one wishes for, to pursue its course. For a person who has become aware of their situation, finding a school becomes the most urgent necessity.

Adapted from: Toward Awakening by Jean Vaysse